


You Are The Honest In Me

by 0ceansgayt



Series: PP Rare Pair Week 2018 [5]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, ITS CUTE AT THE END THOUGH, Roommates, oops I wrote angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 16:23:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14312592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0ceansgayt/pseuds/0ceansgayt
Summary: How the hell did they end up here?It was hard to recall, the details fuzzy like so many nights that ended in a similar fashion - that being in bed with Chloe, squeezed into one of their twin sized dorm room beds and half naked, heads busting.It started with Chloe and the wine. It always did.





	You Are The Honest In Me

**Author's Note:**

> oops I slipped and wrote angst 
> 
> Anyways, here’s my Chaubrey roommate AU for rare pair week! 
> 
> This ends really cute though sooooooo give it a read and tell me what you think??

How the hell did they end up here?

It was hard to recall, the details fuzzy like so many nights that ended in a similar fashion - that being in bed with Chloe, squeezed into one of their twin sized dorm room beds and half naked, heads busting.

It started with Chloe and the wine. It always did.

Chloe was emotional, she wore her heart on her sleeve worse than anyone Aubrey had ever known. She took things further than the heart - more to the soul, if anyone had to guess. This time it was shower guy - Tom, if Aubrey had been listening correctly. She always ghosted over the details of Chloe’s other trysts.

It wasn’t because of jealousy.

He had cheated on her, stood her up when they were supposed to be meeting in the showers. How dare he? Aubrey did her best to contain her smirk - his loss, her gain. It was always her gain.

Chloe had so much love to give, she always had. Ever since they were paired up as roommates in their freshman year, Chloe had been the loving one. She was affectionate and loyal to a fault. She stuck by Aubrey’s side through everything. She loved Aubrey, and Aubrey loved her - though she’d never admit it out loud.

And so there was wine, and drunken whispers of promises not kept.

The issue with being raised by two absentee parents is that you never learn how to love - at least Aubrey didn’t. She wanted to, desperately so, but could never wrap her lips around the words she needed to explain herself.

“You’ll never be mine, Aubs.” Chloe choked out over her glass of wine. Aubrey lost count on how many Chloe had drank, only on her second herself in an attempt to better care for her drunken best friend. The words were like a knife to her heart, stabbing and twisting and painful.

She never meant to be a failure.

“You have me right now.” Aubrey sighed, setting her glass aside and turning down the music. Chloe always tended to get too emotional and broody when she listened to Birdy. But she did, she had Aubrey then and there, and that was the most that Aubrey could promise and fulfill.

“If I have you for tonight, we’re doing what I want.” Chloe brushed away a stray tear, clambering to her feet and slipping her shoes on. They were on the wrong feet, Aubrey sitting her down gently - lovingly - and fixing them without remark, only gentle hands and a soft smile.

She was unsteady on her feet - she always was when she drank. The thought of them going anywhere had Aubrey nervous, especially if it involved leaving their floor. Baker Hall was exciting enough whilst drunk, they really didn’t need to explore campus.

But Chloe had her, and that’s what she wanted. If she desired a drunken escapade to McDonald’s, then Aubrey was glad to deliver.

It was an innate need for Chloe - the desire to adventure - quite possibly born from a mother who loved to travel and a father who moved often for work. The notion always confused Aubrey - who would want to leave the safety of their own home in favor of the unknown?

But Chloe dubbed the silliest things adventures, like trips to the grocery store or taking a new route to class. She would always look at Aubrey, sparkle in her eyes, and say “let’s go on an adventure today, Aubrey.”

And was anyone really not powerless to Chloe Beale and her magic smile?

“Let’s go…” Chloe murmured, struggling with the lock on the door. Aubrey was behind her in an instant, flipping the lock and grabbing her keys off of the hook.

“Here, darling.” It was a tone Aubrey didn’t recognize coming from her lips, saccharine and sugary sweet. It was reserved especially for Chloe, along with her most genuine smiles.

“Let’s go on an adventure, Aubrey.” With her words came a megawatt smile, bouncing on her toes as she teetered down the hall.

It was how they ended up sprawled out on the grass of the quad, Chloe laying on her back and staring at the night sky. They were quiet, listening to the faint hum of passing cars mixing with the sound of their mingled breathing.

Aubrey idly thought that it was the soundtrack to her summer - something she wished she could record and play over and over.

There was just something intoxicating about Chloe. She made Aubrey feel things she never had before, bringing forth a newfound fear every time. Maybe it was the way her blue eyes shined the most magical sparkle.

If someone asked Aubrey what her favorite color was, she would probably answer ‘the color of Chloe’s eyes’.

After a long while of staring at the stars, Chloe took a deep breath and spoke, her words slow and deliberate. She was careful with her words when with Aubrey, lips working long before she ever made sound.

“Do you love me?”

The words rung out into the night sky, so soft and sweet that it took Aubrey aback. She was used to the usual philosophical drunk questions - idle wondering why the earth was flat or why God put people on the earth to allow them to suffer - but never this.

Never confronting their issues.

“Oh honey, of course I love you.” Aubrey’s words were barely a whisper, voice caught on a ball in her throat that would give way to uncontrollable tears if she spoke much more. Thought much more. It was the truth, however, she did love Chloe - more than she knew possible.

More than she knew what to do with.

And it may have been the fear of losing her - the fear that changing their relationship would ruin everything they had and everything they had built over the last four years. But graduation was on the horizon and with that would come change - a change that Aubrey wasn’t ready for.

Neither of them were ready, really. Aubrey was going to New York for law school, having already secured an internship at a reputable firm. And Chloe? Chloe said she was going to go wherever her heart would lead her.

Aubrey hoped Chloe’s heart would take her to New York.

The thought of being separated - not living together - was terrifying and Aubrey didn’t know that she could ever live alone after sharing her home with the literal human embodiment of sunshine. And maybe Aubrey was scared to open up about her feelings because she was afraid of losing Chloe to distance, life drawing them apart before they ever had the chance to create a relationship together. In a twist of fate and alcohol loosened lips, Aubrey spoke again, words soft yet unexpected.

“Come to New York with me. I’ve already got an apartment.”

“But there’s nothing for me in New York.”

“Me. There’s me.”

Silence fell over them again, nausea settling into the pit of Aubrey’s stomach. It was unfamiliar, being so nervous around Chloe. She was always Aubrey’s safety net, the one who could calm her nerves in an instant. Chloe never brought the nerves, except for now.

Aubrey barely made it to the bushes before she gagged, vomit tasting of bile and wine.

She had expected Chloe to be behind her, rubbing her back or holding her hair like she had countless times before, but she never came. Aubrey straightened up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before trudging back to hers and Chloe’s spot with a frown etched deeply into her features.

“Please say something, Chloe.”

It was more pleading than she intended, though entirely needed. She needed Chloe to know how much she wanted her - needed her - in more aspects than just platonically.

“You don’t really want me to come to New York with you.”

“I do.”

“No. I’m Chloe the annoying roommate. Chloe the roommate who gets too touchy and takes your clothes off. I’m the annoying bedmate because I’m scared of the dark sometimes. You…couldn’t live with me.”

“You’re Chloe, the woman I can’t live without. I wouldn’t stoop you down as low as roommate level.”

Chloe sighed, fingers running through her wild hair wearily. She looked tired and weak, face softening in defeat as she pushed herself up to a seated position. Aubrey was still standing, towering over Chloe in a way that should have been intimidating had it not been them.

The true intimidation came from the fact that Chloe never stood, only sitting with her elbows on her knees and looking up at Aubrey as though she were her entire heart and soul.

“You can’t say that and not care, Aubrey Faith.”

The use of her middle name had the lump in her throat dissolving into hysterical tears, breath shuddering as she attempted to suck in enough air to not pass out. And suddenly Chloe was there, at her side with soothing hands running up and down her spine.

“I do care. I care so much that it scares me.”

She didn’t remember how they got home, just the fact that Chloe’s hand never left hers. Not even when she unlocked the door, Aubrey’s hands too shaky to do much more than hold Chloe’s.

They stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, about a foot between them. They were much too sober for the activities that usually followed - the clash of teeth knocking together in heated, messy kisses. The air in the room oozed with trepidation, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

And then a flash of red.

And then sticky lips on Aubrey’s, a gentle hand in her hair and tugging her impossibly closer.

It was so much better while sober - semi sober, to be accurate. Aubrey’s head was spinning, fingers flexing at her sides as she fought not to touch. Not to feel. Because this couldn’t be real, Chloe couldn’t really want her despite all of her flaws and shortcomings.

They were roommates who kissed sometimes - sometimes went below the belt, too. This couldn’t be real.

“Stop thinking…” Chloe murmured, pulling back for a fraction of a second before pressing her lips hotly against Aubrey’s once again. “And just feel.”

And so she did.

Chloe felt amazing, the way her tongue moved against Aubrey in a sloppy yet well rehearsed fashion. From what Aubrey recalled of their usual drunken trysts, this was more emotional. Less sloppy. There was more feeling, more emotion. More everything.

It was almost too much for Aubrey.

And yet she let herself fall deeper down into the unending hole that was Chloe Beale and everything she encompassed. It was like everything ended and began with Chloe, the feeling of her lips against Aubrey’s. She could taste the wine and gummies on her lips, stickiness transferred to Aubrey’s mouth and down the line of her jaw.

“Let me take you to bed.”

Chloe’s words were soft, eyes tender in a way that only Chloe could manage while being seductive. Her hair was wild - at some point, Aubrey’s hands had tangled in red hair and tugged ever so slightly. A beat of silence followed, Aubrey’s hands falling to her sides as Chloe stepped backwards.

She watched in rapt attention as Chloe peeled her shirt off - long sleeves pushed up and clinging to her in places that should be a sin. And really, Aubrey should be the sinner for staring - gawking, really - but she couldn’t bring herself to move.

Not yet. Not when she was watching the most perfect thing that she has ever had the privilege of not having.

Chloe held her shirt limply in one hand, eyes flickering down to it before she decided to let it fall to her feet. She kicked it a few inches, material wrapping around her foot as she kicked. And how did she look so graceful doing the most mundane things? She stood, hands awkwardly at her sides and just stared at Aubrey with her pale blue lacy bra and toned and tanned stomach.

And those fucking leggings.

They were akin to an ugly sweater print, pumpkins and skeletons adorning the print in this horrendously hilarious print. Aubrey couldn’t understand for the life of her just why Chloe felt the need to wear them in April.

It suddenly occurred to her that she bought Chloe the leggings, and maybe it was some silly sentiment behind the fact. After all, she constantly wore that sweatshirt Chloe bought her - even when she wasn’t cold.

“I don’t know what to do here.” Chloe admitted, shoulders sagging as she moved over to her own bed. Pulled back the covers, too. Aubrey almost thought she would stop, turn around, say something.

But she didn’t.

There was a quiet rustling sound, Chloe sitting on the edge of the bed and peeling the leggings off. She dropped them onto the floor, a few feet from her shirt. The sight made Aubrey’s eye twitch, though she’d never say anything.

Chloe sat cross legged, back against the headboard looking like some sort of angel fresh out of heaven. All she was missing was the halo. Her arms were folded across her chest, elbows brushing the ends of that bra that made Aubrey’s heart race a little bit. Or maybe it was a lot. Especially combined with the powder blue lacy panties that should have been a god damned sin.

And then there was silence.

Aubrey turned, back to Chloe, as she pulled her own shirt and shorts off. It was a much less impressing ordeal, quiet and not at all seductive when she almost tripped over Chloe’s clothing still strewn in the floor. She bent at the waist, vaguely recognizing the burn of eyes boring into her back, picking up the discarded clothing before folding it and depositing it into the hamper.

Fingers on the lightswitch, she hesitated. Chloe started this, and she finished it well before Aubrey was ready to stop. There was a burning sadness in the pit of Aubrey’s stomach, knowing that there was someone else who received this love from Chloe.

Several someones, actually.

She flicked the switch a bit harder than intended, a little more force than she was used to using. The anger and sadness burned deep inside her soul, climbing into her bed a little shakier than usual. Her comforter felt stifling, much too heavy and weighing her body down. She kicked - once, twice, a third time - before giving up and peeling the blanket back.

The silence was deafening. Aubrey stilled, hands in her lap and breath held as she struggled to listen for Chloe’s breathing. There was usually music or television on in the room - or the sound of panting, hands moving against each other and peppered with drunken slurs. But tonight, there was nothing.

Aubrey waited for the familiar music to flow from Chloe’s phone - hell, she would have even settled for the faint hum coming from her headphones - but it never came. There was only a soft sniffle carefully disguised in the rustling of blankets, Chloe too proud to let Aubrey know she was crying.

The proof came in the shuddering intakes of breath, Chloe’s hand clamped tightly over her mouth in an effort to stifle any noise she would make. And it fucking hurt. It hurt her that Aubrey could claim to love her so but show no interest whilst sober.

“Come here.”

It was Aubrey who spoke, sighing slightly in defeat. She was never the instigator, always letting Chloe lead. A drastic change from their usual roles - Aubrey ever the dictator and Chloe following like a meek puppy dog at her feet. There was silence - god damn, why was there always silence?

“Come here right now.”

There was a growl to her tone now, pushing her comforter off of her bed with more force than intended. And really, there was more force than intended in this whole situation. She was up in a flash, stalking over to Chloe’s bed and winding a hand in messy red hair.

And then she froze.

There were tears on Chloe’s face, streaming down her cheeks and bringing with them a trail of dark mascara. Aubrey wanted to ask her who the hell hurt her, threaten to beat them up or kill them - but it was a little bit harder when she was the one who hurt Chloe.

Perfect, bubbly Chloe Beale. The literal human embodiment of sunshine and happiness. She was sweet and kind and caring and chivalrous without even realizing it. She would stand in the rain just to hold the door for Aubrey, or wait to take a shower so that Aubrey could use the cleanest, driest towel.

She was the closest thing that Aubrey had ever come to finding perfection.

Somehow, they stumbled back to Aubrey’s bed, squeezed into the tight little space without complaint. They never shared the bed whilst sober, usually opting to make a bed on the floor and lay there together before retreating back to their own beds, someone usually complaining of a sore back. And maybe this was a mistake - not because it was Chloe, but because they were sober.

Aubrey couldn’t picture going to bed alone after curling up with Chloe.

There was fiery hair spread across her chest, Chloe’s head resting on Aubrey’s chest and arms encircling her. It should have felt stifling and much too restricting, but even the leg thrown over her own legs was comforting in a way that Aubrey didn’t recognize.

She felt safe in Chloe’s embrace, worries melting away as her brain shut off for a moment, turning off the rest of the world. The only thing she was aware of - the only thing she dared focus on - was the sound of Chloe’s breath, their gentle kisses, and the feeling of Chloe’s arms around her.

Aubrey didn’t remember falling asleep, only knowing that it was much less fitful than when she slept alone.

The sunlight streamed through the open window at an hour that was too early to even think of being awake, both women groaning and covering their eyes. It was for naught, the sunlight too powerful for them to even attempt sleep again.

Chloe spoke first, hand splaying across Aubrey’s toned stomach and stroking. “Did we…?”

“No, we just cuddled.”

“Okay. Good.”

Aubrey’s face fell, the sadness that came with rejection washing over her. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out, eyes screwing shut in embarrassment. There was the familiar sting in the corners of her eyes, the one associated with tears that she was determined not to shed in front of Chloe.

A panicked gasp, soft hand on her cheek and willing her eyes to open. “No, no, no...Aubrey, baby…” Chloe breathed, thumb stroking Aubrey’s cheek as the tears began to fall. “That’s not what I meant, I just...wanted to know if last night was real or some drunken daydream.”

“It was real. It was so real.” Aubrey nodded, sniffling past the tears that wouldn’t quit falling no matter how hard she tried.

There was a beat of silence, grin working its way across Chloe’s face in a way that was almost cartoonish. And god, she would never tire of seeing that woman smile.

“I guess you’ll get to suffer through being my roommate for another four years, then.”

“Or indefinitely. For life. Whatever.”

Words hung on her lips - words she couldn’t yet say. Not for a lack of feeling, because god did Chloe make her feel, but for a lack of capability. She had never learned how to love properly - she had never learned how to be loved, either. It was all new and strange and filled her stomach with a flipping panic yet strange excitement.

“I love you too, Aubrey.”

And maybe they would be okay.

And maybe Aubrey would learn how to love, too. 


End file.
